Gifts: More than Ribbons and Bows

I never believed him when he said I had a talent for art.  Now, I may never hear him say that to me again.

Mr. and Mrs. Powell, my "adopted" grandparents

The sheer amount of things I learned from this man is immeasurable.  He helped teach me how to get along with my sisters, he was an influence in teaching me about hard work, he enhanced my appreciation for creating and consuming good food, he refined my knowledge of patience, he helped nourish my love for Christ, he encouraged me to dream, he was my example for continuous learning, and (most precious to me)
he taught me how to paint.

He is a grandfather to me and he loves me like I am his own.  But now he needs me to remind him who I am; I can hear my heart break as it aches for days gone by.

Sitting down to work on a newfound form of art for me, Photoshop and Illustrator, I found myself thinking about how much he would love to see what I've been working on.  He would be so proud of me and it would bring a new dynamic to our conversation.  I could show him the logo I've designed for myself, remembering the importance he always put on signing my work.

Then I'd sit and chat with him about how life continues to change.  I'd share my adventures at State, the new opportunities in Event Planning that have come my way, and the man the Lord has brought my way and how much I love him.

While I can talk with him and share all these things, to me it will never be the same.  I'm reminded by his sweet wife that this is where faith comes in; faith that God's got it all under control when it feels like everything is crumbling to pieces.

My Lighthouse

I loved painting with him.  I loved the music he played from back in the 50s and 60s; swing and Sinatra.  I loved the mixing of colors, stepping back and looking at the progress, his gentle guidance and encouragement.

Now, I'm afraid to paint without him.  I'm afraid that his guidance was the secret ingredient that made him want to show everyone my artwork.  The thought that my next painting will be an utter failure scares me into a petrified state.  He believes I have a gift and a talent, but I'm afraid to prove him right.

Father, thank you for always believing in me, even when I don't believe in myself.  Thank you for giving me the capacity to feel passion and remember the good times.  Thank you for how you have used Mr. and Mrs. Powell in my life, please bless them beyond their wildest dreams.  Please continue to comfort Mrs. Powell and their loved ones.  Thank you for my mom and her servant-like heart.  Please help me to use the talents you have blessed me with to speak of your glory.  Thank you for how you have blessed me, may I never take it for granted.  How I love you. 

Love in Mississippi: Reaching for the Tissues

Driving around Starkville today, I was filled with an almost overwhelming joy.

It blows my mind that I love this little Mississippi town and the memories I've made here as much as I do.  I love that it's smack dab in the middle of a cow field.  I love that the people are sweet and they like their tea even sweeter.  I love the warm welcome of hugs and smooth Southern accents.  I love that the community is invested in the lives of the students here and that they too bleed maroon and white.  I love the clang of the cowbell, the late nights studying and those of fun and games.  I love the friends I've made here, the lessons I've learned and how I've grown in this little town.

Emma, me and Haley having a bit of fun!

I never would've imagined that I would love this town this much and now I get to share that love with someone I have loved for almost 18 years, my kid sister, Haley.

The Lord has given me a chance to share something that I hold so close to my heart with her and I can't wait!  She's such a hard worker, talented, loves the Lord more than life itself and is gorgeous inside and out.  I've shared a lot with her--laughs, hugs, tears and probably a few punches, and now I have the opportunity to be a part of another stage in her life.

Seeing how the Lord has blessed me, just like He promised to, I'm excited to see what He has in store for Haley.  I'm thrilled to know that He holds her safe in His hands, has a perfect plan for her and that He will never fail her.  She will be stretched, grown, refined and molded to be more like our Father through these next few years and I will wait with great anticipation for when she reaches this stage of life and looks back as I do now.

Knowing the gorgeous lady that she is now, I can only imagine the incredible woman that she will become through our Father's plan; and I know that my imagination of the future does Him no justice.

Father, thank you for such a sister, such a family.  Thank you for the opportunities you have given me and forgive me for when I've taken them for granted.  Thank you for the chance to share this new stage of life with Haley.  Thank you for your perfect plan for her and your promise to be with us every step of the way.  Thank you in advanced for how you will grow her, teach her new things, show her more of yourself and mold her to be more like you.  Help me to set a wise and loving example for her; let me be compassionate, slow to anger and quick to listen in all that I do.  Thank you for the bond that binds Haley and me in blood and spirit; how sweet it is to have such a sister in Christ.  Thank you for Emma and how you have used her in both of our lives and in the lives of those around her.  Bless her, give her wisdom, guidance and continue to show her that you are who you say you are.  Thank you for your sweet and gentle presence.  Thank you that your mercies are new every morning, never failing and ever present.  I love how you continue to blow my mind; blessed doesn't seem like a strong enough word.  Thank you for loving me, coming for me, dying for me and making sure there's a place for me to come home to.  Thank you for your truth, grace and love.  How I love you.