Glowing Hair: What Once was Mine

Even as a senior in college, I love Disney movies.  Just last week, I referenced Mulan in one of my classes--much to my horror, my teacher had NEVER heard of it!  And to top the sundae, on a recent first date, when choosing from the hundreds of movies we could have watched, I picked Aladdin.  What can I say?! I'm a Disney princess at heart.

Even now, I love Disney movies,
especially the princess ones!

One of my favorites though, is Tangled--the story of Rapunsel.  As if her long, golden hair wasn't gorgeous enough, it glows when she sings.  Part of her magic song says, "Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine, what once was mine."  There have been many times this week I've almost burst into this song--and, mind you, it's only Wednesday.

In a recent study of one of the weirdest stories in the Bible (completely my opinion there, a lesson God can teach us in all situations: it's in 2 Kings 6:1-7), God took me by the shoulders, looked me in the face and said, "Honey, you've lost your edge."

Much like the prophet in the story, my axehead flew off and sank to the bottom of the river.  I'd been trying to chop down trees with a piece of wood--pretty stupid, huh?

I've become disconnected from the water source and I've begun to look like a gross, wilty piece of lettuce.  But, thank goodness that wasn't all He said.  Our God isn't Captain Obvious who just states the facts and leaves.  He isn't the bully on the playground who says the cold, hard truth and then laughs as he skips away.  And He certainly doesn't have magic hair that glows when He sings.  But like Rapunsel's hair, He can save what's been lost and bring back what once was mine.

Take a look at Acts 3:19-21.
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Messiah, who has been appointed for you--even Jesus.  Heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore ever tying, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets.

The Old Testament is full of stories of how God restored His people--just think about the freedom from Pharaoh.  But in order to be restored, we have to realize that there's a problem and we need to ask for help.

Joel 2:12-14 paints such a beautiful picture.  "Return to me with all your heart," He says. "Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love...Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing..."  Even after all the gross, wilty lettuce, He may leave a blessing--truth that God has a plan, even when we are unconnected and spiritually dull.  Not only that, but He will greet us with grace and compassion; very different than the expected scolding.

Thank goodness the story doesn't end on a hopeless note; wilty lettuce forever doomed, stuck spending the rest of life chopping down trees with a 2x4!  Instead, there is hope to be restored by a God who is so much more powerful than glowing hair.

Thank you, Father, for second chances.  Thank you for your promise that you will restore me and sharpen my edges.  I will praise you for your faithfulness in my wandering; bind my heart to Thee.  I am amazed by your providence; thank you for showing me how you have a plan through it all and that even in the difficult situations you are still God.  Thank you for calling me your beloved, your daughter, your princess.  Help me to rend my heart to you, Father, and allow you to heal me.  Thank you for your quiet work in Esther, her example, and how you are using her life to return me to yourself.  How I love you.

Check out the song "Rend" by Jimmy Needham: such a great reminder and I hope it will help you remember truth this week, as it has for me.

Checkmate

They say love conquers all.

In my job there's a high possibility for daily stress and colossal levels of it.  Handling calendars, running errands, designing and setting up a venue, responding to client's questions in a timely manner, absorbing problems brought to your attention and keeping your cool can all become rather stressful, especially when a client brings stress of their own to the table as it translates through the conversation.

For all my Friends fans--gotta love Phoebe!

Regardless of how often I feel like I'm about to be completely underwater or how many times I can seem to relate to the chicken who's recently lost its head, I still love what I do.  My passion for planning conquers or overcomes the stress levels and reasons why I should never want to do this each and every day.

They say love conquers all.

All is a big word; especially for only three letters.  It leaves no room for anything else, hence the phrase "all or nothing."  There is no room for fear, excuses, or checklists.  Love doesn't say, "When you can eat a whole jar of jalapeños, I'll love you."  It doesn't say, "When I have my life planned out, then I'll love you."  It finds a way to prevail, despite the uncertainties that will always be present in life.

Luckily for us, God was the one who originally coined the phrase.  While this phrase is not found word-for-word in the Bible, Paul's chapter on love to the Corinthians comes pretty close.  Verse 7 says, "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

His love is perfect and is constant.  While I may have doubts about his love, in the end, if our love is true, then it will endure through every circumstance, no matter the miles.  His love is everlasting, it beats my fears, quiets my doubts, and soothes the stress.  No matter the outcome of his love for me, I will always know that His love will conquer all.

Love surmounts the stress.  It politely tells the doubts to "shove it."  To the lingering fears, love declares a checkmate.  Love conquers all.

Father, thank you for reminding me of your love for me.  Help me not to worry about communication, miles, and busy schedules.  Help me to enjoy this season of growing and not to take it for granted.  Thank you for sending your Son to show me the true meaning of love.  Show me more about how to love like you do each and every day.  Thank you for the way that you love me so completely; I know that I can be hard to love.  I praise you for you are the Author of my story, Creator of love, and you are in control.  Help me to let the stress, worry, and fears go.  May I forever be reminded of how your love for me conquered my sins.  How I love you.

Old Things in New Places: Oklahoma

After the whirlwind that's been the last month or so, in the stillness of the moment, I have a chance to find a moment of reflection and clarity.

Lots of things have changed in the past month or so.  Loved ones have graduated--college and high school both--friends were married, new jobs were started, and lives were moved.  With these adjustments, old things have been rearranged to fit into new places.

Friends I've known since I was young, recently downsized from a two-story house to an apartment.  It's strange walking through the house, helping to go through the things that were left after most of their things were moved, and seeing rooms that I would've never imagined bare reduced to nothing but blinds and carpet.  Even stranger than that is seeing those familiar things, couches, lamps, paintings, in a new place.  While this is the start of a new season, for more than just the weather, seeing those things in a place that is not their home, or the home that I know it to be, seems so wrong.

Now, I know that change isn't always bad, many times it is needed for us to grow and become those people who God wants and intends for us to be.  Sometimes we move and change because of choices that we make, whether those choices are by our selection or based on consequences.  Other times things change because people make those decisions for us; that may mean God and his use of the weather, or your parents choosing to take an adventure to a foreign country with tea and crumpets.

In those moments where I find myself on the edge of tears, wishing that I could open my eyes to a time before, I hear strong words and I'm reminded of why I'm on this journey.  "Strength, courage," He says to me, "don't be timid, don't get discouraged. I'm with you every step you take." It's not easy being hundreds of miles away from one you love, unsure of what tomorrow may hold for you.  It's not easy moving things into unfamiliar places, or even those places that were familiar once but have been unvisited for a while.  It's not easy walking into a new place, knowing nothing or very little and not getting lost in the tide.

He understands that it's not easy; He acknowledges that it would be easy to stand against the wall, remain silent, and become discouraged.  How does He acknowledge those things?  By telling us not to do them!  Then, He doesn't stop there; He tells us a reason why we shouldn't do those things--because He's with us every step of the way.

So as sad as it is to see just the blinds and the carpet, and as disheartening as it is to realize that the familiar smell of loved ones that remains will soon disappear, we must remember that soon, what is a new stage will be our current stage, the past will fade,
and new adventures will appear on the horizon.

We have to trust that those pieces of furniture that make the move into the new place are there for a reason.  And we have to believe and trust, with all that we are, that those pieces that don't make the move were left behind for a reason and that the Creator and Author has something else to fill the void.

Father, thank you for your comfort.  Thank you for the new opportunities, scary as they may be.  Please help those that find themselves in similar situations as I do now.  Thank you for reminding me of your love and steadfastness for me. You are unwavering.  Be with those I love, no matter how far they may be; speak to them and show them the way you have planned for them.  Please help me to trust you in the matters of the heart, regardless of the joy or sorrow that may come.  Thank you for your firm and gracious hand.  Thank you for friends to lean on and family with which experiences may be shared.  Help me to listen and obey, not to ask questions or second-guess your decisions.  Thank you for your promise to be with me always, no matter where that may be.  How I love you. 

Gifts: More than Ribbons and Bows

I never believed him when he said I had a talent for art.  Now, I may never hear him say that to me again.

Mr. and Mrs. Powell, my "adopted" grandparents

The sheer amount of things I learned from this man is immeasurable.  He helped teach me how to get along with my sisters, he was an influence in teaching me about hard work, he enhanced my appreciation for creating and consuming good food, he refined my knowledge of patience, he helped nourish my love for Christ, he encouraged me to dream, he was my example for continuous learning, and (most precious to me)
he taught me how to paint.

He is a grandfather to me and he loves me like I am his own.  But now he needs me to remind him who I am; I can hear my heart break as it aches for days gone by.

Sitting down to work on a newfound form of art for me, Photoshop and Illustrator, I found myself thinking about how much he would love to see what I've been working on.  He would be so proud of me and it would bring a new dynamic to our conversation.  I could show him the logo I've designed for myself, remembering the importance he always put on signing my work.

Then I'd sit and chat with him about how life continues to change.  I'd share my adventures at State, the new opportunities in Event Planning that have come my way, and the man the Lord has brought my way and how much I love him.

While I can talk with him and share all these things, to me it will never be the same.  I'm reminded by his sweet wife that this is where faith comes in; faith that God's got it all under control when it feels like everything is crumbling to pieces.

My Lighthouse

I loved painting with him.  I loved the music he played from back in the 50s and 60s; swing and Sinatra.  I loved the mixing of colors, stepping back and looking at the progress, his gentle guidance and encouragement.

Now, I'm afraid to paint without him.  I'm afraid that his guidance was the secret ingredient that made him want to show everyone my artwork.  The thought that my next painting will be an utter failure scares me into a petrified state.  He believes I have a gift and a talent, but I'm afraid to prove him right.

Father, thank you for always believing in me, even when I don't believe in myself.  Thank you for giving me the capacity to feel passion and remember the good times.  Thank you for how you have used Mr. and Mrs. Powell in my life, please bless them beyond their wildest dreams.  Please continue to comfort Mrs. Powell and their loved ones.  Thank you for my mom and her servant-like heart.  Please help me to use the talents you have blessed me with to speak of your glory.  Thank you for how you have blessed me, may I never take it for granted.  How I love you. 

Love in Mississippi: Reaching for the Tissues

Driving around Starkville today, I was filled with an almost overwhelming joy.

It blows my mind that I love this little Mississippi town and the memories I've made here as much as I do.  I love that it's smack dab in the middle of a cow field.  I love that the people are sweet and they like their tea even sweeter.  I love the warm welcome of hugs and smooth Southern accents.  I love that the community is invested in the lives of the students here and that they too bleed maroon and white.  I love the clang of the cowbell, the late nights studying and those of fun and games.  I love the friends I've made here, the lessons I've learned and how I've grown in this little town.

Emma, me and Haley having a bit of fun!

I never would've imagined that I would love this town this much and now I get to share that love with someone I have loved for almost 18 years, my kid sister, Haley.

The Lord has given me a chance to share something that I hold so close to my heart with her and I can't wait!  She's such a hard worker, talented, loves the Lord more than life itself and is gorgeous inside and out.  I've shared a lot with her--laughs, hugs, tears and probably a few punches, and now I have the opportunity to be a part of another stage in her life.

Seeing how the Lord has blessed me, just like He promised to, I'm excited to see what He has in store for Haley.  I'm thrilled to know that He holds her safe in His hands, has a perfect plan for her and that He will never fail her.  She will be stretched, grown, refined and molded to be more like our Father through these next few years and I will wait with great anticipation for when she reaches this stage of life and looks back as I do now.

Knowing the gorgeous lady that she is now, I can only imagine the incredible woman that she will become through our Father's plan; and I know that my imagination of the future does Him no justice.

Father, thank you for such a sister, such a family.  Thank you for the opportunities you have given me and forgive me for when I've taken them for granted.  Thank you for the chance to share this new stage of life with Haley.  Thank you for your perfect plan for her and your promise to be with us every step of the way.  Thank you in advanced for how you will grow her, teach her new things, show her more of yourself and mold her to be more like you.  Help me to set a wise and loving example for her; let me be compassionate, slow to anger and quick to listen in all that I do.  Thank you for the bond that binds Haley and me in blood and spirit; how sweet it is to have such a sister in Christ.  Thank you for Emma and how you have used her in both of our lives and in the lives of those around her.  Bless her, give her wisdom, guidance and continue to show her that you are who you say you are.  Thank you for your sweet and gentle presence.  Thank you that your mercies are new every morning, never failing and ever present.  I love how you continue to blow my mind; blessed doesn't seem like a strong enough word.  Thank you for loving me, coming for me, dying for me and making sure there's a place for me to come home to.  Thank you for your truth, grace and love.  How I love you.

Paradise's Parking Lot

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone?

While they haven't exactly paved paradise, I got a taste of just how good I've got it this past weekend.

I've never realized how much I rely on my computer and use it each and every day until the existence of it was threatened this weekend.  All of my school work from college is on this bad boy.  Applications that I take for granted every day, like Word, and new ones that I love playing with, like Photoshop, were suddenly inaccessible.  The "experts" told me to brace myself as it looked like everything would be lost forever.

Here come the bulldozers, dump trucks and cement pourers.  I was about to get my parking lot.

I worried about it, stressed about it, and couldn't do anything else until I knew for sure the status of my aluminum baby.  Sam reminded me that worrying about it wouldn't do me any good and that God already knew the outcome of the situation.  He was right.

I was ready to call the shots, cut down the trees, pave the slab and paint the lines--what I really needed to do was give it to Him.  We're ones to so quickly diagnose the problem and say there's no hope.  Our God is one who exemplifies hope in His very being.  The sun itself gives us hope that not every day will be filled with rain.

In the end, there was no need to pave over paradise.  My computer was fixed, restored to full working order and is back to being treated like a hallowed object.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD--now and always. Psalm 131:3

Father, thank you for showing me though technology how you restore.  Thank you for restoring my heart to you.  Thank you for taking the time to mend me, heal me and bring me back to you instead of just leaving me out for dead.  Thank you for Sam and how he reminds me to let you have my life and all that I encounter.  Thank you for family, fluffy puppies, fishing line and coveralls.  Thank you for the plan that you have for me and taking the time to work out all the details.  Help me to trust you with them and seek you as I go through each and every day.  How I love you.

Breaking the Ice

As helpful as icebreaker games can be when it comes to meeting new people, they always seem somewhat difficult to me.  "Tell us your life story, but in one sentence ONLY!" "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?" "What's the one word you would use to describe yourself?"

How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice!

Baffled.

Why? Because that all seems fairly impossible to answer in the 3-5 seconds you have before the rest of the group starts to wonder if you're deaf or "not all there."  How in the WORLD am I supposed to rack my brain that quickly to come up with a simple answer where a detailed one is better suited?! Are these people nuts?

I know that it's important to be able to sum up yourself, your personality, etc in 15-30 seconds (affectionately known as the "elevator speech") so that you can present yourself in an interview or similar situation clearly and concisely.  However, as a lover of words, I find that task fairly challenging.

In advertising, having one word, normally an adjective, to describe your brand is highly valuable.  Again, getting that one golden word often comes from a sentence of words that is slowly whittled down to a single gem.  So what's the one word you would use to describe you?

After contemplating, one word seemed to continue to come to my mind.  It's a word that will always be true, whether or not I feel that way every moment of every day or not.  It's a word that is based on more than my grade point average, the job that I hold, the amount of money in the bank or the number of friends I have in my contact list; it's based on something that's value is incorruptible. My one golden word?

Blessed.

God has so richly blessed me--not only with His grace, mercy and incessant love, but also with a fantastic family, group of friends and supporters.  He has guided me through my journey here at State; I'm so blessed to have professors that are going on overseas missions for the sake of the gospel.  Friendships have been restored, hope has been birthed and love has appeared as if out of thin air.  My Father continues to show me more of his character everyday and because of that I will forever be blessed.

Dad, thank you so much for your hand in my life.  Thank you for not leaving me at the wayside when things seem to fall apart.  Thank you for restoring me, gluing the pieces back together and nursing me to a full recovery.  Let me never forget how you have moved in my life and the lives of those around me.  Thank you for teaching me to be patient and for bringing me such a treasure.  Remind me that you are not bound by time and I should be like you in that way.  Please continue to guide me in all I say, think and do.  Thank you for calling me your princess, your beloved, your daughter.  How I love you.